Wow, college is kind of the worst sometimes even when it’s not that bad! Did that make sense? No? Okay, well maybe someone resonated with that. On a more positive note I’m grateful that I have people in my life who make it not so bad. I’m grateful I get to go to college and I’m grateful that I got myself out of bed to go to class today. I just watched 13 Reasons Why, the Netflix Original show, the other day and it hit me like a wall of bricks. Yeah, I read the book when I was actually 13 years old (lol at that coincidence), but it’s one thing to read that story in book form and another to watch it. It made me think about depression, bullying, and their connection to suicide. What really made me think about was the presence of bullying in college, and especially how socially acceptable it is! Maybe I’ve had some bad experiences when I went to CU Boulder, but there were quite a few experiences that truly felt like bullying. The campus was so actively exclusive, I don’t even think I met a community that was genuinely inclusive. Through talking with some of my close peers recently, they agreed that they’ve experienced a lot of exclusivity with many of the communities on campus and in Boulder. Bullying doesn’t go away as you get older, bullies just aren’t called bullies anymore. I only came upon this realization after watching 13 Reasons Why because for the most part I didn’t experience that much bullying growing up. Sure, I had my experiences with other kids being mean to me or girls being cliquey in high school, but I never experienced active on-going bullying, at least until I came to college. Many bullies don’t realize they are being bullies and I, at the time, didn’t realize that I was being a perpetuator of bullying that was going on too! One of my best friends Andrea said to me yesterday something along the lines of “How I feel about bullying is a lot like how I feel about social justice issues, if you’re not actively being inclusive in your community, then you’re perpetuating exclusive behaviors”. When I heard her casually say this to me, I was like “Wow, you’re so so right and on point with that!” and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. These were just some thoughts I’ve been processing lately. How are you actively being inclusive in your community?
Anyways, you probably came here to see some food. Well, if you remember from my first Meditation On My Meals post I talked about how not ever one of these posts is going to be pretty. This post probably isn’t going to be the prettiest of posts, but there’s a lovely selfie of me in it, so it still twinkles of beauty (hey, hey, I’m allowed to call myself beautiful if I want to!).
“If you want a always-picture-ready blogger, you’re in the wrong place, my friend.”
Oh my goodness, who is that?! That’s me y’all, in my truest form, with a smoothie in a blender bottle, hair in a bun, and in my boyfriends sweatshirt. You wanted an honest and authentic picture of a college student who’s healing, and here I hand you a mirror selfie. My makeup foundation no longer matches my current skin tone because I’ve been sitting inside for too many hours at a time studying, but I wear it anyways. If you want a always-picture-ready blogger, you’re in the wrong place, my friend.
Not every smoothie is going to be pretty and Instagram-ready, but it can still be yummy nonetheless.
“Love is an action, never simply a feeling.” Bell Hooks